Friday, May 15, 2009

Complaining about Black Men in Relationships

I have come across a lot of blogs (by women) that involve what is wrong with black men and what they need to do. Well let me attempt to offer a rebuttal of sorts goes:

Don't be so shocked Ladies - guys do actually talk, and not just about the New England Patriots winning streak Most women think their man is the strong, silent type (or maybe the oblivious, silent type), and they wonder why he doesn't share his feelings.

But here's the truth: Men do want to open up, about their hopes, their fears, and their passions. Yet put him alone in a room with you, and he often turns into a Sphinx. Why can't he take his eyes off the TV and talk about the state of the relationship, or the finances, or, heck, the backyard landscaping? Why in the world can't he just summarize his day for 10 minutes.

Here's one answer: Because even men who have feelings to share don't always feel comfortable sharing them with their partner. These are some of the reasons why some men often prefer to zip it, rather than delivering the goods:

Guys Are A Little Intimidated
No question, women are expert communicators. They throw questions like Oprah after her third cup of coffee; they're connecting on all cylinders. And like the divine Ms. W, women bring a lot of skill to their game: A special awareness of the people-scape around them, a keen set of emotions keyed to that awareness, and a rich vocabulary they use to talk about anything at anytime.

And they're always practicing their Q&A skills on their many friends, so they're in top talk mode all the time. Men know this. The result: Us guys are afraid of saying too much, because saying the wrong thing may get them into more trouble than a OJ Simpson Family reunion in Jennings, LA.

We Need To Decompress
Woman's view: When a man walks in the door, he ought to cough up some of the details about his day. After all, it's been 10 hours since they've communicated, not counting the two IMs, three voice mails, and one actual mid-day conversation.

Man's view: Can I please make a beeline to the bathroom? When men reach home, it's like those ultra-marathoners staggering across the finish line in the Desert of Death Valley. The last thing they want to do is discuss how bright the sunlight was, and how scarce the water is.

Further up on his want-to-do list after arriving home: a few men want to check email or sports board while others are looking for a little private time in the bathroom, and Most simply want to eat dinner. The common theme here: After they've spent a day serving the needs of others, they want to take care of themselves a little.

So when a man is hit with a demand for conversation so closely after returning from the stressful environment of work, he has only one gear left to shift into, and sometimes it's reverse.

Guys Are More Comfortable With Actions Than Feelings
Rather than talking about how he "feels," often a man would rather express his love by changing her oil, or bringing home a flower, or relinquishing control of the remote.

And when men do talk, they'd prefer to talk about actions rather than emotions. For instance, a lot of guys would choose to express their long-range faith in a relationship by talking about next summer's vacation plans, not by launching into a soliloquy about undying love.

Both conversations can mean the same thing (that he plans on sticking around); he just prefers to say it with plane tickets, rather than poetry. It's one of the reasons men are more comfortable talking at work (the practical universe) than they are at home (the castle that emotion built). But you can bring out his great communicator by making him feel more like he's operating in work mode, even when the topic at hand is your love life.

Guys Don't Want To Be Put On The Spot
When men talk less and women want more, the scenario can escalate. Like when the bad cop is pummeling the reluctant witness, more silence equals more questions. It's clear that some men are just plain tired of feeling like they're on the witness stand. They're not necessarily hiding anything; many guys simply prefer not to have to relate confusing feelings that they may not even understand themselves.

An age-old tactic can make things better: Back off a little, give him room to operate in a conversation, and he's more likely to open up. Everything just written is only the opinion of one man, nothing more so I could be totally wrong. ..


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

How to give a woman good "Felatio"

First of all let me provide a scene for this little intimate conversation.... (above) their now first of all if you a man reading this hey atleast your attempting to find the right combination to keep your lady friend satisfied. If your a woman your opinions are very much valued and appreciated. (Disclaimer: every woman is different)

When a woman finds a man who gives good head, she's found a treasure she's not going to let go of too quickly. This is one rare customer and she knows it. She won't even tell her girlfriends about it or that guy will become the most popular man in town. So, remember, most dudes can f**k, and those who can usually do it satisfactorily, but the guy who gives good head, he's got it made.

Most women are shy about their bodies. Even if you've got the world's most gorgeous woman in bed with you, she's going to worry about how you like her body. Tell her it's beautiful, tell her which parts you like best, tell her anything, but get her to trust you enough to let you down between her legs. There is nothing that makes a woman more unique than her kitty.Appreciate your woman's unique qualities and tell her what makes her special. Women are a good deal more verbal than men, especially during love-making. They also respond more to verbal love, which means, the more you talk to her, the easier it will be to get her off. So all the time you're petting and stroking her beautiful kitty, talk to her about it. Now Gently pull the lips apart and look at her inner lips, even lick them if you want to. Now spread the tops of her kitty up until you can find her clit. Women have clits in all different sizes, It doesn't mean a thing as far as her capacity for orgasm. All it means is more of her is hidden underneath her foreskin. Whenever you touch a woman's kitty, make sure your finger is wet. You can lick it or moisten it with juices from inside her. Be sure, by all means, to wet it before you touch her clit because it doesn't have any juices of it's own and it's extremely sensitive. Your finger will stick to it if it's dry and that hurts. But you don't want to touch her clit anyway. You have to work up to that. Before she becomes aroused, her clit is too delicate to be handled. Approach her kitty slowly. Women, love to be teased. The inner part of her thigh is her most tender spot. Lick it, kiss it, make designs on it with the tip of your tongue.

Come dangerously close to her kitty, then float away. Make her anticipate it. Now lick the crease where her leg joins her kitty. Nuzzle your face into her bush. Brush your lips over her slit without pressing down on it to further excite her. After you've done this to the point where your lady is bucking up from her seat and she's straining to get more of you closer to her, then put your lips right on top of her slit. Kiss her, gently, then harder. Now use your tongue to separate her kitty lips and when she opens up, run your tongue up and down between the layers of kitty flesh.

Gently spread her legs more with your hands. Everything you do with a woman you're about to eat must be done gently. Tongue-f**k her. It teases the hell out of her because by now she wants some attention given to her clit. Check it out. See if her clit has gotten hard enough to peek out of it's covering. If so, lick it. If you can't see it, it might still be waiting for you underneath. So bring your tongue up tot he top of her slit and feel for her clit. You may barely experience it's presence. But even if you can't feel the tiny pearl, you can make it rise by licking the skin that covers it. Lick hard now and press into her skin. Gently pull the kitty lips away and flick your tongue against the clit, hood covered or not.

Do this quickly. This should cause her legs to shudder. When you sense she's getting up there toward orgasm, make your lips into an O and take the clit into your mouth. Start to suck gently and watch your lady's face for her reaction. If she can handle it, begin to suck harder. If she digs it, suck even harder. Go with her. If she lifts her pelvis into the air with the tension of her rising orgasm, move with her, don't fight her. Hang on, and keep your hot mouth on her clit. Don't let go. That's what she'll be saying too: 'Don't stop. Don't ever stop!' There's another thing you can do to intensify your woman's pleasure. You can finger-f**k her while she's enjoying your clit-licking talents. Before, curing or after. She'll really like it.

In addition to the erogenous zones surrounding her clit, a woman has another extremely sensitive area at the roof of her vag**a. This is what you rub up against when you're f**king her. Take two fingers. One is too skinny and three is too wide and therefore can't get deep enough. Make sure they're wet so you don't irritate her skin. Slide them inside, slowly at first, then a little faster. F**k her with them rhythmically. Speed up only when she does. Listen to her breathing. She'll let you know what to do. If you're sucking her clit and finger-f**king her at the same time, you're giving her far more stimulation than you would be giving her with your capt.wanky alone.

So you can count on it that she's getting high on this. If there's any doubt, check her out for symptoms. Each woman is unique. You may have one who's nipples get hard when she's excited or only when she's having an orgasm. Your girl might flush red or begin to tremble. Get to know her symptoms and you'll be a more sensitive lover. When she starts to have an orgasm, for heaven's sakes, don't let go of that clit. Hang in there for the duration. When she starts to come down from the first orgasm, press your tongue along the underside of the clit, leaving your lips covering the top. Move your tongue in and out of her c**t. If your fingers are inside, move them a little too, gently though, things are extremely sensitive just now. If you play your cards right, you'll get some multiple orgasms this way. A woman stays excited for a full hour after she's had an orgasm.

Do you realize the full impact of that information? The potential? One woman was clocked at 56 orgasms at one sitting. Do you know what effect you would have on a woman you gave 56 orgasms too? She'd be yours.The last advice I have for you is this: After you've made her c*m, you have just made her your s*x slave by giving her the best head she's ever had, don't leave her alone just yet. Talk to her, stroke her body, caress her breasts. Keep making love to her quietly until she's come all the way down. Most dude's are like wham bam thx ma'am and pass out in the same breath and feel no remorse (and wonder why they never get laid), no sense of loss. But a woman by nature requires some sensitivity from her lover in those first few moments after sex. Oral sex can be the most exciting sexual experiences you can have. But it's what you make it. Take your time, practice often, pay attention to your lover's signals, and most of all,..... *have fun*.